I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
