I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
