Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
