I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We have so much sex to catch up on
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
