I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
