Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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