He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
