Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
