ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
