put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
