I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There's always time for handjobs
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
