just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
