Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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