i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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