Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
