Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
