Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
