You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
