Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
