They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
