Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
