is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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