tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
