two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Randomize
