she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
