Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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