I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
