Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
