More tranny stories later!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
