how can u be prego again
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
