He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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