i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
