kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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