Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
