i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
