when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
