I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
