You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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