I wannas sexs uuuuu
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
