i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
