belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
