I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
