How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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