Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
