she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
