i permit you to call me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
