butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
