Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
