Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think people are normalizing furries
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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