i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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