sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
