how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So squirting runs in the family.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
