I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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