Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
