Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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