the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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