if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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