Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
