You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
