Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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