i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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